House fire in Mission 2

It might work. Why wouldn’t it work? Think about it. Ash. Yes. That’s a good example. Heat creates it from something else. You smoke tobacco, it becomes ash. It changes.

But – no. That’s no good. What can you do with ash? Use it for compost. Wrap it around goat’s cheese. No. Bad example. Maybe it won’t work after all.

But – hold on. Mustn’t give up so easily. There must be something good that changes with heat. Food. Of course. Food. But that’s hardly magical. That’s not alchemy.

What then? Metals. There must be some. God knows what though. What gets better with heat? Crystals. Do they need heat? Can’t remember. Should’ve paid more attention in chemistry. Yes, but that what’s his name. Can’t remember a thing from his classes.

So – what? Food. Is that all I’ve got? I don’t want food. Why bother? What can I get out of that? A business. A shit business. Shit. Shit food.

Maybe. Maybe that would work.

But – no. Metals. Metals to gold. But then maybe they were just using the wrong materials, the wrong base. And they were too prudish to try, right? Never get them near that.

Sod it. Try anyway. If it fails, it fails.

But how to go about it? Use my own? A dog’s? Could just pop down the park. There’d be plenty. And a variety – whatever happened to the white stuff?

Yes. Maybe different kinds produce different results. I could write this up. Experiment. Show results, methodology, a conclusion. Why not? Stranger things.

Might as well get started then. My own first. Of course. Could probably squeeze one out.

Right. Toilet. But what now? Can’t put it down the bowl. That’d risk the purity of it. Unless the water does something, adds something.

No. I’ll try that later. Keep it simple now. On to paper. None left. But paper’d change it too – the material, the ink if there is any. How about a plastic bag? That’d change it too, but at least I’ve got some. In the cupboard. Under the sink.

In there then. It’s easy to get out. Might be traces of plastic, but that can go in the report.

Right. Done. Now where to put it? How to heat it? Oven? Gas? Hob’s electric. That was cut off. Still got gas for the time being. The boiler? But that’s way up in the loft. A radiator will do.

Perfect. Perfect on there. All done. Now wait and see.

Nothing. Nothing. It’s getting hotter, but, God, that smell’s bad. Better turn it up. That’ll speed things up. The smell will go soon enough.

No. Still nothing. This is taking ages. But – no. Be patient. Maybe I should leave it. If it’s taking this long, could be here a while. Could go out. Pay the electric, score. Try it with that. Electricity might be quicker. Lightning’s electric.

Right. Done. Sorted. Better get back home. Excellent. It’s bound to be done by now. I can get samples on the way. Split them. Try with water, electricity, in a bag, in paper, wrapped in cloth. I could be on to something here.

But what’s that? Sirens. Where are they? Hold on. Not – no.

Oh, shit.


5 thoughts on “The Alchemist

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