CD Collection.

I don’t want to listen to that new album by that band I like because I’m afraid that I’ll either hate it so much I’ll start to question why I ever liked them in the first place, or love it so much I’ll stop listening to their old stuff.

If I hate it, I’ll put it down and go back to their previous albums, but in the back of my mind the new album will be there dirtying my love of them.

I’ll be thinking how did this turn into that, and I’ll listen and look for the seeds of their future awfulness in the old songs, so much so that I’ll give up and never listen to them again or treat all their albums cagily forever more.

I’ll scroll past them on my MP3 player, pause on their name, think about listening, then go on past, my feelings about their new album influencing how I feel about their entire oeuvre. I’ll walk past the shelves where I keep my CDs and not even look at the cases that are slowly gathering dust.

Then, one day, I’ll feel guilty about it so much that eventually I’ll pick it up and listen to it anyway, because I’ve been neglecting it, then realise immediately why I have, but keep on listening anyway in the stubborn belief that I can find something good in it even if I can’t, and I spent money on it so I might as well get my money’s worth.

If I love it, I’ll listen to it too much, to the point where I start to neglect their old albums, albums which I love and believed could never be replaced, even though I still hope that every new album will outdo their last.

I’ll see them on the shelf or in my MP3 player and think about listening to them for old time’s sake or because I really think they’re tremendous and much better than this new stuff, then realise I’ve moved on, just like the band have.

I’ll think those songs that I once thought were so essential are still essential but not as essential as the new ones, and then I’ll feel bad for them, as I never thought I’d think that, and so eventually I will listen to them again and realise why I loved them so much, though as I do I’ll be itching to get back to their new stuff, because I’ll still think it’s better, even if I try to convince myself it’s not.


9 thoughts on “His Favourite Band’s Latest Release

  1. You never know if the new album is going to be a treat or a disappointment, I’ve had it turn out both ways. I was a big Lucinda Williams fan until I bought “Essence.” The songs were slow and it sounded like she had taken a fist full of downers before going to the studio. I still like her other stuff, but I don’t ever play that one.

    • The problem is when they drop a piece of crap I stop buying them and don’t even trust my friends when they tell me their new one is good. It probably is but I can’t bring myself to like it.

  2. What artist can really duplicate their success, or same level of artistry, year after year? There are any number of bands or singers, or writers, or directors I follow who have, finally, disappointed. That doesn’t diminish their earlier works. It should only enhance it.

  3. taste is pretty volatile. albums are living things that change over time, as are we, so the equation is built on many variables. how we relate to them etc. and, some creep up on you. some of the albums i resent at first, i end up loving. so many interesting questions brought up. for me its usually less about thinking the album is crap, than just not feeling like listening to it. i obsess over stuff, but that obsession is trapped in a length of time.

    • I definitely go through obsession periods too, though some last longer than others. Sometimes I stop listening to an album because I think I’ll spoil it if I listen to it too much. I also begin to feel guilty about not listening to the other ones

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