English: Ants

Good morning. I have called this emergency meeting in response to the extraordinary events of the last few hours, namely the seemingly unprovoked and malicious attack on thousands of our colony’s ants.

The facts are still coming in, but at roughly 0600 this morning an army of worker ants who were investigating food prospects in and around the great white desert were summarily executed by some sort of deadly rain issued from a giant shiny log.

According to eye-witnesses, the spray at first paralysed then choked then eventually killed them. Before any response could be made, a giant white leaf was spread over them, and used to gather them all up and dispose of them in the blue precipice, which we now know is hollow and has some kind of entrance at its peak.

Now I know this might be hard to digest – I understand your outrage and horror – and our hearts do go out to those who’ve lost loved ones, but this represents a major attack on our community and way of life, and something has to be done about it. The survival of our colony has been put at risk. If we cannot work then we cannot live.

Let me be clear: nothing and no one should be allowed to stop us from doing what we’ve been doing for millennia. Nothing and no one.

We are ants. It is our right to find food. To live. To work. And if we cannot do this, if we are threatened going about our everyday lives then we must, nay, we shall retaliate.

Yes, hear me now. There will be a time for mourning. There will be a time to grieve. But now is the time to act.

We are ants. We are mighty. Together we are one, and together we will work tirelessly to avenge this crime committed by the Great White Ant, for it was he who sprayed us with the rain, he who dumped our loved ones so disrespectfully in the abyss of the blue precipice.

No, we will not let this murder make us change our way of life. We will go to the great white desert. We will get our food. We will go to the blue forest and the great black plateau. We will take what we deserve, and we will never be satisfied until every scrap of food our fallen workers would’ve brought back is ours.

We will take everything, and when we are ready, we will strip the Great White Ant of his power and take him to his blue precipice and put him in his great abyss.

16 thoughts on “Call to Arms

  1. I wonder what Antman would say about this. He’d be on the ants’ side. He’s been bitter about being left out of The Avengers movie.

  2. Love this. And thanks for the linky-love. I am having to be an ant as I rebuild after my computer crashed and burned. I am doing what ants do: getting busy.

    No time to sit around crying.

    Time to make new babies.

    But back them up this time. 😉

  3. Hey, don’t feel so sorry for the ants. They dominate the earth. Their total weight world-wide exceeds the total weight of humans. They have created rich and varied communities all over the planet – all without any sort of consciousness, guilt, or other mental disturbances.

  4. Pingback: Call to Arms | The Sustainable Lifestyle Specialist

  5. Your blog is so original I love it. I am sad to admit that I have killed many ants in my life with various chemicals without a thought for their friends and families. RIP ants, I will stop and think in the future.

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