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Deutsch: Margarine

Of course, you can think that. Go ahead. I did too when I first arrived and saw the carrots and limes and potatoes and milk and yoghurt and heard all about how they could be grated or mashed or roasted or sliced or poured over cereal or mixed with eggs.

I heard all about their potential too, their versatility, how they could be this and that and wouldn’t it be nice, after living in the soil or in a vat or truck, to really make a difference and make those human’s happy.

Well, that’s fine. You will make them happy. You’ll give them everything they want. But don’t expect anything in return. And don’t expect to be fried or sliced or dolloped. And especially don’t expect to be smeared around the edges of a pan before getting it on with some cake mixture. Not with this guy, anyway.

You’ll be spread on toast and bread. And that’s it. The butter over there gets put in pots and pans and smeared with cake mixture. All you’ll have is burnt crumbs sitting on top of you making you itch.

Which is fine, I suppose, if you know that’s all you can hope for.

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22 thoughts on “An Almost Done Tub of Margarine Tells a Fresh One How It Is

  1. wahaha good one. i wasn’t expecting this when I came to this post. Then i saw the margarine telling about high hopes vs “And don’t expect to be fried or sliced or dolloped. And especially don’t expect to be smeared around the edges of a pan before getting it on with some cake mixture.” … very good writing! 😉

  2. I laughed when I read the title of this post, and it only got better. I don’t know where you get the ideas for your other voices, but this is a wonderful addition. ‘… burnt crumbs … making you itch.’ – love it.

    • Where do I get my ideas from? Good question. I think this one actually came about because I wanted to write about equal opportunities for all. Margarine doesn’t get it and neither do we

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