Excuse me, come back here right this minute. I think you’ll find I go up on that shelf on my own, not down here with the riff-raff.
Look at my label, read what it says: 18 years. Oak-matured. Can’t you see who I am, from where I came? I belong to a great family, a great tradition. Generations have come and gone, fads have come and gone, but I’m still here. And always will be.
Treat me with some respect. You might as well have me upside down while you’re at it, put me up there with the Bell’s and the Grant’s and the Black Labels of this world. Upstarts the lot of them. I mean, really, do you know how much I go for, what lips I’m meant to cross? I don’t need an award to be good. I don’t need an advertising campaign.
I am good.
Look at them, attempting to show their prowess, all pride and gold stars. Well, they can do what they like. They’ll never be of my quality, no matter how long they stay in a barrel. No.
How dare you leave me here. I know you’re new, but did no one tell you who I am?
Don’t walk away from me while I’m talking to you. Don’t try and act as if nothing’s happened. Yes, there are a lot of people in, but there are standards to be maintained. I’ll never live this down. I can see the Glenmorangie and Laphroaig laughing. I can see the Chivas Regal brimming with schadenfreude. It’s the end of the world as we know it, me being here. You might as well mix me with coke or sprite or water.
And, look, you have.
- Singleton – Winter is for Whisky (maddoggg.wordpress.com)
- Whisky! (twofingerstwocubes.wordpress.com)
- New Whisky from Paul John – Brilliance and Edited (summerfruitcup.wordpress.com)
- Scotch Glossary: 10 Terms You Should Know (drinks.seriouseats.com)
- Whisky Tastings (20 June 2013) (everydayadventuresasia.wordpress.com)
- Review: The Balvenie Doublewood 12 Year Old (guildfordwhiskyblog.wordpress.com)