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I lie down flat on my back on my side of the bed, my hands crossed on my chest like I’m in a coffin, and I think if I stay like this then nothing will happen, it’s all perfectly innocent, Emily invited me to sleep in her bed with her because there was nowhere else to sleep, that’s all, and if we’re in bed together we’ll be warmer, and, anyway, I’m dressed, she’s got a boyfriend, I’m her friend, and she’s just being kind offering me her bed, because I’m depressed after splitting up with Abi.

Only things are not going so well with Neil right now, especially after she admitted where she gets all her extra money from – not that I care – and she’s not lying flat on her back like me, vampire-like, she’s curled towards me, her knee touching my thigh, her hands cupped and close to my face, and I can feel, despite myself, my dick getting hard, something I really don’t want her to notice, because Neil’s a friend, sort of, and I don’t want to cheat on him with her, especially as I still love Abi, or tell myself that I do, and know if she knew what was happening she’d never even consider getting back with me, something I really want to happen, even if I know it won’t (she’s with Ryan now), so I might as well roll over and touch Emily, bring her hands to my lips and fuck her.

But I won’t. I’ll just lie here and think of reasons not too, until the alcohol eventually takes over, and I fall asleep and wake with a pre-cum stain on my boxers, and Emily wakes and we have breakfast and watch some TV and I go home and think about Abi and get all depressed and regret not doing what my dick says I should be, because when it comes down to it none of these thoughts and excuses matter, because basically all it adds up to is me being a coward and nice when I should just be like Neil and Emily and Abi, do what my dick says, and fuck her.

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2 thoughts on “In Bed

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